Monday, January 25, 2010

2010 Playmate of the Year Candidates

When we look back on the last Playmate class of the decade, we can easily say that it has been one of the best we've seen in years. That means one thing -- there will be no doubt that the race for 2010's Playmate of the Year will be the tightest and most hotly debated in recent memory. People will have all sorts of opinions, and for good reason. There are several ladies this year that can compete for the top prize, and the most coveted in the Playboy realm. It should be a very exciting one to follow. Anyway, here are my rankings of the Playmates of 2009. I've taken a departure from the normal way I've done it in the past; instead of listing by month, I'll count them down from #12 to #1.

#12
Jennifer Pershing - Miss March 2009
Somers Point, NJ, USA | 35-27-37 | 5' 8" | 125 lbs.

Early 2009 featured the biggest blemish on the 2009 Playmate season, with Jennifer Pershing. Jen offered nearly nothing to the table, taking on an ultra rock-star look that was flat and uninteresting.
The Good: Being at the bottom of the heap in Playmate rankings, you can't really hope to find a whole lot that is positive about Jennifer. You have to hand it to Playboy for trying to create a longer, more expansive pictorial that is more interesting, with a consistent theme.
The Bad: Jennifer is simply a girl who lacks any Playmate-type talent whatsoever. Her face is constantly plastered with a riddled, confused look with curious wide eyes. Her body is completely uninteresting, and is of a pale, boring color. She is simply not even close when it comes to being a true contender for any sort of award or accolade for the year.
Consensus...
Face: C
Body: C+
Talent: C-
Pictorial: B-
Overall: C-

#11
Crystal Harris - Miss December 2009
Lake Havasu City, AZ, USA | 34D-25-35 | 5' 6" | 124 lbs.

Closing out the year is an honor bestowed to some stellar Playmates of the past, and usually on special occasion. December Playmates are sometimes fitted with a theme or gimmick, but none was more of a sideshow than this year's final lady, Crystal Harris. Hugh Hefner's new leading lady was anything but the leader of the pack in the Playmate world, and we all shudder to think that maybe she has an edge on the PMOY race because of her fame.
The Good: There's not much good to say about Crystal, but if you must choose her high points, it's that she is a decent poser when she doesn't try too hard. When her passive posing mode is on, she looks mildly elegant, and her pictorial's lighting captures her body well. However, that only takes her so far.
The Bad: Crystal is by far one of the worst Playmates of 2009, and there are several reasons why. Her face is angular, and its structure is not attractive in many photos. Also, her body is an absolute disaster - a smorgasbord of plastic surgery mishaps and strange alterations. Her breasts, for example, look like mounds of plastic, and her entire body is just engineered to be "model-like." It's an absolute atrocity, combined with the fact that she has zero posing talent whatsoever. In fact, she simply holds an identical pose throughout. Definitely not even close to PMOY talent.
Consensus...
Face: C
Body: C
Talent: B-
Pictorial: B-
Overall: C+

#9 and 10
Karissa Shannon - Miss July 2009
Kristina Shannon - Miss August 2009
Ann Arbor, MI, USA | 34B-26-34 | 5' 10" | 125 lbs.

Who knows why -- the recession? Poor magazine sales in general? During the summer, Playboy decided to take a short hiatus and release a July-August double issue, with twin Playmates to take up some space. Not only were they Playmates, but they were some of Hugh Hefner's new gal pals. The Shannon twins were not the worst we've seen, but they certainly were not anything to write home about.
The Good: One thing that made the Shannon twins decently interesting was the fact that they do have a nice level of chemistry with each other. They are the most physical Playmate twins outside of the Bernaolas of 2000. They have a flirty nature in photographs, and even take it to a risque level at times. If they were only more attractive in general, their posing talent wouldn't be as easily overlooked.
The Bad: This brings us to the main issue... the looks. The Shannon twins are unfortunate archetypes of the modern model; tall, unbearably thin, and featureless. Their bodies resemble a barren desert, with small breasts, butts that are too tiny (unless they really concentrate on getting them attention), and generally boring faces. In short, the Shannons can easily join Crystal Harris as a couple of other Hefmate "busts" that should also have a shot at PMOY.
Consensus...
Face: B
Body: B-
Talent: B
Pictorial: B-
Overall: B-

#8
Hope Dworaczyk - Miss April 2009
Port Lavaca, TX, USA | 34C-24-35 | 5' 6" | 126 lbs.

Many will be shocked to find Hope in a spot so low on my annual rankings - after all, she is a major fan favorite and one of the frontrunners in many polls out there. However, Hope's material really didn't dazzle me at all. In fact, I think she was wholly underutilized in her photos. I'll say it again: a model is only as good as her material shows, and I never ever judge on hypotheticals.
The Good: Hope demonstrates how deep this Playmate class really is. At #8, she is still a true contender for PMOY. Her slenderness and appealing height are a big draw, and her proportions while still being at such a model-like height are impressive. Add in the fact that she is leggy and radiant, and you have several great qualities and a potential to be a really stunning Playmate.
The Bad: The problem? Hope has only that: potential. Her pictorial was much less than stunning. She isn't a consistent poser at all, and her face often comes out strangely in her photos. Her pictorial ends on a strange and weak note (the basketball shots), and she never really takes off, taking too many prone shots and not enough that accentuate her height.
Consensus...
Face: B-
Body: B+
Talent: B
Pictorial: B-
Overall: B

#7
Crystal McCahill - Miss May 2009
River Forest, IL, USA | 34DD-26-34 | 5' 7" | 125 lbs.

Crystal was another good entry in the 2009 class, strengthening the overall makeup of the group but not offering anything to really shine through. Crystal's lineage (her mother was 1968's Gale Olsen) was the primary factor putting her in this spot, but it was deserved nonetheless. Her photos are a pleasure to see, even though you may not walk away starstruck.
The Good: Crystal is an all-around good Playmate; nothing spectacular, but she's busty and curvy and offers a bit of eye candy because of her voluptuousness. Her larger 125 lb. frame makes her a different sort of Playmate than the others of the year, with a little more woman to look at. Her face is also attractive at times, but the inconsistency in her photos makes it tough for her to truly break through.
The Bad: Crystal isn't the most talented poser there has been this year, and her photos don't flow well enough to truly be memorable. She is a bit of an awkward poser in some of her shots. Also, her face has some stronger, more pronounced angles that aren't always very photogenic, so she loses some grace points there. Again, it's not that she ever does a truly terrible job, but she falls to the lower half of the class due to her lack of spark.
Consensus...
Face: B-
Body: B
Talent: B
Pictorial: B
Overall: B

#6
Candice Cassidy - Miss June 2009
Portsmouth, OH, USA | 34C-24-36 | 5' 9" | 125 lbs.

A former Cyber Girl in 2006, Candice came onto the scene this year, and frankly I had pretty low expectations for her performance. Boy, was I in for a surprise. Candice is a true testament to how deep the 2009 class is, as she starts out my top half, but could easily place in the top 3 in most other years. Candice is bubbly and delightful, and slim and toned but yet curvy and sultry. A very welcome addition, and an excellent pick to become a Playmate.
The Good: Candice's body is tough to compare to other Playmates in recent times. She has a tall frame, but has enough curviness to not come off as too slim. Her breasts are of ample size, but her butt is simply awesome. Her true strength, though, is not in her body (which is very well toned, by the way), but in her photogenic appearance. Her angelic face combined with her bright blond image makes her a true joy to look at, and her posing talent is certainly far above average. Her pictorial is varied and the themes are awesome, so she pulls off a wonderful month.
The Bad: Even at #6 this year, there's not a whole lot to complain about. However, if you have to know, Candice doesn't have the true starpower to place higher. Although she's amazing to look at, she doesn't have the memorable quality to allow her to truly make an impression. Her body could be a bit more curvy because she has such an elongated frame. Also, some of her full-frontal, bleached out shots come off as a bit unattractive because the cause her skin to look a bit pale. Still, a wonderful model overall.
Consensus...
Face: B+
Body: B+
Talent: B+
Pictorial: A-
Overall: B+

#5
Lindsey Gayle Evans - Miss October 2009
Paris, TX, USA | 34C-24-36 | 5' 10" | 125 lbs.

At first glance, Lindsey Evans may look like your average blond Playmate. Though a bit more polished and poised, she still seems to be an average talent. However, when you look deeper, you see a girl who has the potential to even make a run at the 2010 PMOY title. That's how good Lindsey is, and it's not really only her looks that take her so far. It's more than that: it's the entire package.
The Good: There has been no Playmate pictorial in 2009 as intriguing, consistent, and complete as Lindsey's. You can credit a large part of it to her talent, but you also have to give props to the Playboy editors and photographers for their stellar work. Every photo has Lindsey at her best: her best poses, the best lighting, the most radiant colors emanating from her smooth body. The thematic quality is consistently great, constantly shifting, and most importantly, taking advantage of Lindsey's incredible height. Along those lines, Lindsey's body is nothing to sniff at. The sheer length of her legs is amazing, and is captured very well in her pictures. Her face, notably her eyes, is very intriguing, and she puts it all together with golden, flowing hair.
The Bad: Again, this class is so deep that some nitpicking is needed to find things wrong with the stellar models. However, although Lindsey's pictorial is very good, her posing isn't always on par. An awkward shot here and there can ruin her momentum, and as a model, she doesn't always play to her strengths, which lie along her length. She sometimes tries to contort too much to expose her width, which is certainly not what she should be highlighting. At times, her facial expressions can be sleepy and disinterested, ruining the shot.
Consensus...
Face: B+
Body: B+
Talent: B+
Pictorial: A+
Overall: A-

#4
Kelley Thompson - Miss November 2009
Tyler, TX, USA | 34D-25-34 | 5' 6" | 115 lbs.

As we approach the top of the heap in this year's Playmate crop, we find a girl who came on late in the year to truly strengthen the class and make a big impression. Kelley was yet another hot Texan in the group, this time a brunette with a magnetic photogenic quality and an outstanding body and posing style. Her innocent looks and wide-eyed enthusiasm carried her through the year, as did her appeal with fans.
The Good: Kelley's greatest strength is her beautiful face. With her picturesque smile as she shines those pearly whites, you could just die and go to heaven. With that very girl-next-door luster and her polished looks, when it's coupled with a curvy, buxom body, it's a recipe for a wonderful Playmate. Kelley does it best when she's not trying too hard - she doesn't have many "hard" features that don't look good on camera, and so she passively poses like an absolute pro. On top of all this, Kelley's pictorial has a lot of variety, complete with poses in all different settings and outfits. She does a great job of being comfortable in her own skin, and her innate charm makes her a very viable PMOY candidate.
The Bad: It's Kelley's overall cute and shiny persona that gets her very far in this ranking, because in the pure posing skill department, she is certainly lacking. Kelley's pictorial was very good because of just how she looks, as well as the production value. However, she simply doesn't have the true skills to be able to hit a variety of poses consistently. As I said, she's a great passive poser, and when she sits back and lets the photos come to her, she's great because of her soft features. But, when she tries too hard, it shows, and ultimately leads to some pretty awkward photos and poses. Also, while her curvy body is very sexy, it often tapers strangely at the thighs, and her face looks odd because of her slightly larger forehead. When it's covered up by her beautiful hair, this flaw is hardly noticeable.
Consensus...
Face: A+
Body: A-
Talent: B
Pictorial: B+
Overall: A-

#3
Dasha Astafieva - Miss January 2009
Ordzhonikidze, Ukraine | 34D-23-36 | 5' 7" | 121 lbs.

Playboy's much-publicized and long awaited 55th Anniversary Playmate search ended with the selection of a girl who was on the company's radar for some time - Dasha Astafieva. The Ukrainian starlet was known to be a heavy favorite in the race as it neared its end, and rightfully so. Although fans were disappointed that the so-called "race" to become Miss 55 was all a sham, Dasha was a far superior choice to anyone else who had competed in the contest. Dasha also brings an intangible element that is sorely missing from the American Playboy scene - the European charm that captures the imagination.
The Good: Dasha employs a European posing style that is completely different from the straightforward nude posing that is employed by American Playmates. She is often artistic and thought provoking in her shots, bringing on an edginess and graceful magnificence that no other girl has brought this year. Her photos are stunning pieces of art, and her body shines in them. Dasha is goddess-like, with a very well-toned and well-proportioned body that is tanned to perfection, complete with exotic and unique facial features that make her incomparable to anyone you've ever seen. Combine the sharp, chiseled body with that engaging personality, and you have a legend in the making. When it comes to pure, unadulterated talent with a fearless penchant for pushing the envelope, Dasha may be the best we've seen in years.
The Bad: Although many might disagree with my placement of Dasha at #3 and not 1, I have an explanation for it, and it goes hand in hand with why I like her performance in the first place. Dasha is wildly talented, but also leaves you wanting more. By the end of her pictorial, you are left still wondering who she is and what she truly has to offer, and she comes off as a bit of a "gimmick" Playmate. She is very artistic, but doesn't really deliver the basic poses that allow you to simply enjoy her body and form. Instead, she is erratic, pulling off tough scenes to impress, but not quite satisfying. It's this that keeps Dasha from truly being the best PMOY candidate. If her pictorial were only a bit longer, it could be very different.
Consensus...
Face: A
Body: A
Talent: A+
Pictorial: B+
Overall: A

#2
Kimberly Phillips - Miss September 2009
Fountain Valley, CA, USA | 34-25-35 | 5' 8" | 125 lbs.

The best way to describe the appearance of my #2 Playmate is two words: All-American. Kimberly is a Playmate who defines the modern vision of a woman, and what features we value in a feminine figure: a tall, leggy redhead, carefully manicured, and oddly curvaceous given her height. Couple that with a wry, infectious smile and an incredible ability to pose given a light autumn theme, and we have one of the breakthrough performances of the year for any Playboy model. Kim was probably the most surprising Playmate of 2009; given the limited hype surrounding her, she gave one of the finest performances we've ever seen. She showed true bonafide starpower in every single shot, but the best part is, you didn't even know it.
The Good: In a year where Dasha dazzled and the Shannon twins crooned for the camera, it was Kimberly's straightforward, fundamental performance that truly stole the show. Kim is a breathtaking model whose body is too good to be true: textbook measurements with a decent 5'8" frame make her a runway model with perfectly proportioned breasts. A slim, tight figure that's both athletic and charming is coupled with one of the most intriguing faces of the year. Kim's squinty eyes almost smile at you, and when she shoots a look over, they absolutely mesmerize. Combine that with a gorgeous half-smile, and you have looks to kill. On top of that, she has a wonderful pictorial that truly highlights every single one of her strengths, and variety to boot. When it's all put together, Kim makes the ultimate statement of what a modern American model should look and act like: no frills, just awesome talent.
The Bad: It's hard to find any flaws in Kimberly's technique or looks, but her pictorial could definitely be a little more varied in its thematic qualities. Still, you can understand that given the time of year (the Fall season), they were trying to go for a specific motif here. Aside from that, it's tough to say that Kim should be any better. She carved out a perfect identity for herself and stuck with it wonderfully.
Consensus...
Face: A
Body: A
Talent: A
Pictorial: A-
Overall: A

#1
Jessica Burciaga - Miss February 2009
Santa Fe Springs, CA, USA | 32C-24-34 | 5' 2" | 110 lbs.

The start of 2009 was a great time - and from the huge influx of ladies that came out of the 55th Anniversary Playmate search, there were stars littered all over the place. These girls are what made '09 such a great year, filled with talent from that contest. The greatest to come out of it all, however, was a byproduct none other than Jessica Burciaga. The Latina flavored goddess was Miss February, right after Dasha showed how to kick a year off in style. However, it was Jessica who, for me, truly stole the show from the onset. Although I haven't written much about her before, I will say it here - Jessica has starpower, combined with a body for the ages. Add to that an acute sense of modern style and a hard-edged sensuality, and you have the Playmate of the Year. Or, at least my favorite. Are there girls more talented than Jess this year? Yes, like Dasha or maybe even Lindsay. Are there gals with better bodies? Sure. But is there anyone who brings it all together with the moves and style that she has? Not even close.
The Good: Like I mentioned, Jessica is the full package when it comes to the modern Playmate. She is the sheer definition of the new Playmate - with a mixed heritage that shows off the best of all the nationalities of which she was built. Her face sparkles, and her stare is magnificent. Her pictorial plays to her strengths, and her small size is accentuated in all the right ways (she's the shortest of the bunch for 2009). The best thing about Jess, however, is the way she moves that curvaceous body. Her body is voluptuous because of her shorter frame, and so she works it well. One look at her Playmate Jukebox video feature, and you'll be a believer. She just flows from scene to scene with immaculate precision, and has an attitude throughout. And it's that attitude that makes her the best Playmate of 2009.
The Bad: The one thing that keeps Jessica from being a huge hit with all audiences is her weak pictorial performance. You can tell that she knows how to pose incredibly well, and that she is undeniably photogenic. However, her pictorial does come short in terms of pure, quality material. It just doesn't measure up to the quality of, say, Lindsay Evans. However, as a model, she has enough substance to overcome that, and then some.
Consensus...
Face: A
Body: A
Talent: A+
Pictorial: A-
Overall: A

So there's my ranking, cut in stone, in all its glory. There shouldn't be any major surprises, and polls show that my top three are certainly in the thick of the hunt. The top three are definitely above the rest, with Dasha being a wonderful breath of fresh air, Kimberly possibly being the ultimate fan favorite, and Jessica capturing the hearts of many. Ultimately, it was Jessica who had the best all-around performance to vault her over the edge, but it'll be an awful close race.

So, as we say goodbye to an amazing Class of '09, we can only hope that next year's group can be half as good!
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4 comments:

Leo said...

Great review. My list is similar if not the same. I hope they shoot PMOY in an exotic locale like they used to before. I always looked forward to it...

January 31, 2010 at 11:56 AM
Anonymous said...

Crystal Harris will be PMOY 2010, just you watch. As compare to her Valerie Mason who's a mess as well.

Playboy just seems to like to take the ladies who without playboy helping then get a job, well. They'd probably have to go back to what they were doing in the first place... Which is ironic as why is Valerie hanging out in strip clubs.

You'd think she'd be working at the United Nations and wearing a blue cap or in the Coast Guard.

As she clearly can't dance either.
Look at some of that NYE footage - they can shimmy but they can't dance.

Cha-cha-cha

January 31, 2010 at 9:59 PM
Leo said...

LOL Valerie was actually featured in another magazine I was reading with a bunch of marines. Not the coast guard, but close!

February 1, 2010 at 5:29 PM
Silvio said...

Well, every year has a lot of speculations about who is gonna be PMOY. This year one of them says that Crystal Harris is the winner. I truly hope it's a joke because with girls like Dasha, Kimberly, Jessica, Kelly and Hope (I know you dont't like her, dude. but I do)... it can only be a joke. My choice you know so far.

1)Dasha
2)Jessica
3)Hope
4)Kimberly

February 14, 2010 at 6:52 PM

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