Slim-Fitting

Bryiana, Miss September

We're rearing around on the back stretch of 2013's Playmate class, and after several above average performances (I haven't given any girl less than a B+ since February), we kind of have to feel satisfied with this lineup so far. It's got a little bit of everything - from vivacious brunettes to bubbly little packages of posing joy.

What's still missing, though, is that elusive mark that makes a year go. It's that one Playmate who stands out and makes a statement that will carry the class forward. Although fans have delighted in some really wonderful ladies this year, I'd be hard pressed to find anyone who's seen some pure A-caliber talent.

Miss September was Bryiana Noelle, a young and eclectic Playmate that throws a monkey wrench into the gears that churn out plastic Playmate molds. Indeed, Miss Noelle is something of an anomaly, and she's got her quirks.

First thing is obviously first - this is one skinny model. We're talking 85 pounds skinny, and the lightest Playmate ever to hold the title. In fact, she's a whopping 20 lbs lighter than the next lightest girl this year, Audrey Allen. The true test of whether this slim figure is 'too' slim would obviously be her pictorial sets, which could either be hit or miss, as we've seen with overly thin girls in the past.

I was a bit skeptical of Bryiana at first, and it actually took me some time to get a feel for what kind of model she was. And after seeing five entries in Playboy Plus, the truth is, I'm still a bit unsure of what to think of her. While she's a lightweight, she never comes off as sickly, since she has a decent set of curves that photograph quite well. Her thinness also gives the appearance of a tall, sleek figure, which is a bit of an optical illusion given her 5'3" stature, the second shortest of the class.

Posing-wise, we have a fashion model that's broken slightly out of her shell, but not enough to crack it wide open. There's a constricting sense of deliberateness throughout, as she's a bit repetitive and calculating with each move. She is a true talent above many other ladies this year, but she holds back a bit too much, never letting her legs spread or looking free and sensually unbound.

Josh Ryan, though, does just fine here. While there's been much criticism of the photography and direction this year, it's safe to say that Bryiana didn't get the short end of the stick, at least not entirely. Some overexposed shots and overly processed pictorials (her main PM set) are still sticking points. But take one look at "Sweet Surrender" or "Director's Choice" and you'll see some opportunities for Miss Noelle to stay comfortable.

• Face: B+
  Briyana's uncanny mix of different backgrounds makes her a very unique and unusual entry in any Playmate class. Playboy obviously took a jump away from their cookie cutter blonde here. With big, pearly eyes and a gorgeous smile that's not seen enough, she's exotic and charming. Her facial structure may be a bit off-putting to some, with a shorter nose.
• Body: B
  Being the lightest Playmate in history gives Bryiana some milestone points, but what should really be to her credit is the fact that she doesn't look 85 lbs. On full frontal shots, the gap between her thighs can be a little eye-catching, but there's balance and beauty in her body. She has a cute butt and looks deliciously long despite her short frame, so there's another plus.
• Talent: A-
  One of the finer talents of 2013, Briyana is a very professional poser. She's fashion model-esque, with a great feel for technicality and a movement that rivals all the best runway stars. She seems almost too restricted at times, though, and you almost want to see her really get between the sheets at times.
• Pictorial: B+
  While Josh Ryan didn't reinvent the wheel here, and there were some ill-conceived set pieces, Bryiana gets a chance to stay naturally sexy in two pictorials, Director's Choice and Sweet Surrender. Although there's nothing fancy here, you get a good feel for an otherwise mysterious model, which is not so easy to do.
• Centerfold: B
  An overexposed shot in the jungle is a very odd choice for such a slender, flowing model. Get a head-to-toe body shot sprawled out on a bed (perhaps from behind), and you'd have a winner.
• Overall: B+
  Another near-hit for Playboy follows a solid year of girls who never underachieve, but never hit on all cylinders, either. Bryiana Noelle is yet another one of those girls, but this one's been a really unexpected pleasure. While others are more obvious in their appeal, Bryiana draws you in with her wide-eyed look, her sinewy body, and her great posing skill. What she lacks, like pretty much all other women this year, is a real killer instinct that only the best have. It's that look that oozes sexuality, and that free spirited posing style that's somewhat a natural gift. As always, we'll keep searching.

Val's Our Gal!

Val, Miss August

We're hitting our stride in the Playboy calendar - there's no arguing with the fact that we've seen a nice level of Playmate quality so far in 2013. Whether it's Jaslyn Ome's dynamic pictorial, Audrey Allen's spunky style, or Alyssa Arcè's awesome body, we've seen everything on offer here. As the Playboy Plus exclusive content is going steadily downhill after an admirable debut, we're seeing the magazine's signature ladies leading the pack (thankfully).

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, though, we're still searching for that elusive next "superstar" Playmate that can conjure up my next A+ rating. With this July-August double issue, though, we don't really get that breakthrough. However, we do get a punchy contender in Miss August, Val Keil.

The small brunette named Val is a 22 year old beauty hailing from Philly. Although she isn't the poser that I would have hoped, she's visually great in many different aspects, most notably with her big sexy eyes.

Val's unleashed a plethora of Playmate material so far this month, with photographer Josh Ryan offering a nice respite from Eisenmann's disastrous entries. While Ryan is no virtuoso, he gives a considerable amount of breathing room to his models, allowing them to be contemplative and sexual, never allowing the setting to take charge and dictate the way forward.

Val's pictorials are a bit uneven, but certainly pleasing to the eye because of the great subject matter. Her main pictorial is a bit off, as is her "Hollywood Glamour" entry, with both of them not offering enough color and contrast to Val's dark look. Miss Keil has a dose of stage presence that several other women have lacked so far in '13, taking the reins when they're properly offered.

Val's figure is notable for her
amazing lower body

In her "Pure Aphrodisiac" photo set, Val hits her stride and settles in, with her signature ruby red lipstick and heavy dark eyeliner showing off a face with character and charm. In a slinky pink garter set, Miss Keil spins and manipulates her body, which isn't something to be underestimated. While she doesn't have the curves or natural balance that Alyssa had (and few do), she's chiseled and has a fantastic ass.

What Val lacks in really raw talent is made up for by her intriguing looks. The real coup de grace comes in the second half of her "Director's Choice" set, where a grid-like brassiere and a tantalizing bottomless look pervade throughout, and evoke some naughty poses. While her movement is a bit stiff and she never looks 100% comfortable, there's no denying that this one is a woman who's here to carve out an identity of her own.

• Face: A-
  In a year of some really pretty faces, which is probably the most inconsistent trait for most Playmate classes, Val's still stands out as one of the most eye-catching. Her deep, pearly eyes are easily her best feature, and when she tilts her head down and peers up with them, it's a signature move that doesn't fail. A knock against the editors here would have to be with her oft-overdone makeup, where you almost hope they gave her a single chance without such a heavy dose of that ruby red lipstick.
• Body: A-
  One of the smaller Playmates of this class, Val's stature is easily apparent in photos, as her torso looks notably shorter throughout. However, this serves to offset some of the imbalance that Val has in her physique. She doesn't have overly large breasts, and that suits her well - but with the rest of her body looking adequately curvy, her top half seems a bit lacking. All that aside, Val is a complete pleasure. Her perky butt is always sexy, and gives her what's easily the best bottom half of 2013.
• Talent: B+
  Val possesses some really above average posing skills, sometimes looking imposing and utterly sexy in her pictorial. Josh Ryan does well with Val in several settings, with her lingerie shots looking particularly powerful. Val works the camera with ease when she's comfortable. On the other hand, at times she's not given the room to shine, and looks lost and confused. She has a tough time compensating for a stale setpiece, which is worrying.
• Pictorial: B
  Mr. Ryan hits a few home runs with Val's pink lingerie set and a spread with a strappy bra and not a whole lot else. Those two pictorials are truly great, since they give her a pure, simple slate to expose herself. But with the two other pictorials, "Hollywood Glamour" and her magazine spread, she looks over-polished and vastly underutilized, like a mannequin with little of the glow she has when she's in her element.
• Centerfold: A
  Val's centerfold is a back-to-basics strategy that is easily the best centerfold image of the year so far. It's a perfect shot of her fantastic hip lines and awesome lower body. Full frontal shots that are as fantastical as this are hard to come by in today's Playboy.
• Overall: A-
  It's been a consistent year, if anything. There's still no true star power, and Val was never the girl to bring it with much impact. However, we've got a pretty memorable Playmate with a gorgeous body, ample posing skill, and a couple of good pictorial sets - more than you could ask for in a year of some subpar material. Val's stunning face complements a body that sports by far the best legs and butt of 2013. Val won't etch herself into the minds of fans, but she's been a pleasure nonetheless.

2013 Playmate of the Year Review

Raquel
2013 Playmate of the Year

I haven't had chance yet to go back and reflect on Raquel Pomplun's appointment as Playmate of the Year 2013 as of yet, so I wanted to take some time to comment on it now.

As you might well know, I put Raquel at a lowly #9 on my year-end rankings last year. I obviously caught some heat for this, and I considered her strong fan base when I put together my ranking and rating for Miss April. Many commented that there was little chance that eight other ladies were better in 2012 than Miss Pomplun.

Although I'm always a bit apprehensive about changing my ratings in retrospect, if I were to evaluate her again, I'd probably put Raquel a bit higher than I did, especially since viewing some more of her glamor material. Raquel does have some nice size and is bold and graceful in front of the camera, and she does seem to be a decently deserving PMOY.

You all know my opinion about Miss Pomplun. I definitely preferred Shelby Chesnes, and was almost sure she would win after popular support for her mounted. However, as with Jaclyn Swedberg's PMOY win the year before, I would say that Raquel deserves this. She might not be PMOY material in any year, but given 2012's inconsistency and lack of true star power (same as with 2011's wobbly class), I'd have to agree with fans here.

As always, it's a travesty to see PMOY's given less and less of a chance to showcase their talents in encore performances each season. 2013 is by far the most shockingly meager of them all, with a pathetic six-photo set that looks dismally overproduced. Photo number 4 (posted above) is the one out of the lot that would really force my hand in changing my PMOY vote, but not quite.

Still, a hearty congrats to Raquel!

Losing Direction

Alyssa, Miss July 2013

There's obviously been one consistent, recurring theme when you take a look at Playboy magazine's material for the last several months, basically from the beginning of this 2013 class. It can be summed up like this: bad photography with good models. The talent has not been stellar, but the production value has been dismal.


I've always put a lot of weight on the actual material produced for a Playmate's portfolio. A great bit of production value can take a potentially mediocre posing talent and produce something wondrous. The key really is to keep it rather simple - all a great model needs is a little glamor makeup, a touch of rouge and dark lipstick, a nice set of black lingerie, and a bedroom with some ruffled sheets. Then, let her go at it. She'll writhe and flip, lay on her chest, lift her legs, and with some even lighting it looks spectacular. It was a simple, effective formula for years. And it's been thrown to the wind in favor of some really poor concepts.

The new generation of photographers, namely Sasha Eisenmann, are taking things to an overcomplicated level. It's shown time and time again, with Audrey Allen, Ashley Doris, and Shawn Dillon, we've seen more focus on props and photographic filtering tricks rather than the gorgeous nudity of those gifted ladies. Unfortunately, we see more of the same with Miss July, Alyssa Arcè.

Alyssa's breasts and
legs give her 2013's
best body

With Alyssa, we have a solid model with an awesomely attractive body who we will sadly never get to know. Why's that? It's because her photo set is abysmal. I mean, terrible. It doesn't seem to scratch the very surface of Alyssa's skill set, putting her in everything but an intimate setting to showcase her skill.

There seems to be an obsession with thematic motifs for Eisenmann's pictorials, obviously. His misguided mind throws this project into disarray from the very start. Miss Arcè can be found doing just about everything but looking natural and relaxed, taking on a character of a flag girl at a race.

Now, I like this girl, I really do. In the photos with her hair pulled back and the fishnet cutoff top, she looks amiable and beautiful. The lighting is even, and the costuming is cute, with those checkerboard leggings allowing her to show some more-than-decent height (which she has, at 5'8"). But the pictorial doesn't go far enough, putting her in artificial poses throughout. When she goes full-frontal on the racetrack, the tailpipe smoke lens effect is just terribly misused. How much do we have to express this? WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PICTORIAL THEME. Give us a non-artsy-fartsy setting with a comfortable model, and it all comes together beautifully. Instead, half of the photos have Alyssa donning hot pants and large shades, obscuring anything we might dare learn about this girl.

It's a shame, since Alyssa is one of the prettiest, most accessible models of 2013. She's not a fancy girl, and not a fully glamorous one either. She seems comfortable in her own skin, and probably has what is the best body in the class so far. In what little you actually get to see of her figure, you can tell that this lady's got something to offer. If only...

• Face: B
  While Alyssa is definitely physically gifted, in this year of memorable and intriguing faces, Alyssa falls short by a lot. It could be a slight result of the pictorial not conveying enough about this girl, and the disastrous decision to take half of Alyssa's photos with clunky sunglasses on her face, but she's just not someone that will stay in your mind because of her big eyes or pearly grin.
• Body: A
  What Alyssa lacks in facial beauty, she makes up for in droves with her awesome physique. This girl is not paper-thin, and at 120 lbs, you see where it all goes (to the right places). Her hourglass figure is quite apparent, with easily the best Playmate breasts since Shelby Chesnes. They're visibly natural and hang away from her body beautifully, and when the shadows catch them just the right way, it's heavenly. Not too shabby an ass either, but not enough footage of it available.
• Talent: B+
  Alyssa never gets to truly flex her muscles in her pictorial set, so it's not simple to make a judgement with only that as an indicator. Once you dig in to her videos, you realize that her movement is fluid, and her bubbly personality really makes her a fun shoot. This is a girl who loves to take her sleek body for a ride, so she's minimally at fault for the finished product here.
• Pictorial: B-
  You have a model here with loads of potential, probably the best physique of the year, and a level of energy that could make her a true dynamo in a sexual, intimate setting. What do you do? You squander every bit of it, and then some. You lay a complete egg, showing ineptitude of massive proportions. This is a terrible pictorial, showing off more car than woman, akin to Shawn's "ship-torial." I was left dumbfounded as to how little artistry can be shown when shooting an obviously pretty girl. 
• Centerfold: B+
  This is a decent shot, although not in my favorite pictorial setting (the red scarf on the racetrack might have been better suited for a centerfold). The colors and the even lighting are nice, and Alyssa's cheerful personality come through. I do like the costuming, showing off her good size.
• Overall: B+
  The 21-year old Alyssa is another above average talent in the 2013 class, that sadly has been mishandled to the point where it hurts her final score. It's a sad reality in this era in Playboy's history, where we're seeing some really poor decisions from the magazine's management, but it's how it goes. Miss Arcè is physically the most superior model of the year, with her balanced and voluptuous body providing a look at some of the most palpably natural set of breasts in years. She comes across amazingly in videos, but it's her photo set that really hurts. It's something that slides Alyssa into the middle of the pack for the PMOY race, although she certainly will have fans that will look at her solely for the model she is.

Tiny Wonder, Sasha's Blunder

Audrey, Miss June

As we reflect back on the first half of the 2013 Playmate class, we can safely say we've seen some of the most intense controversy among fans that we've seen in years. It's all a byproduct of Playboy's push to bring in fresh blood to the photographer and editor model, and the passing of the torch, as I've written in previous months, has not  gone smoothly to say the least.

Sasha Eisenmann was particularly skewered for her photo set of Ashley Doris, Miss March. I personally think Ashley is the best one of the bunch so far. She's simply the best looking and most skilled Playmate when she's given free reign. I didn't mind Eisenmann's pictorial too much, as it was panned by most. The pictorial really introduced Sasha's style to a fault, looking to most too immature and underdeveloped, never giving the model a semblance of a personality. That same style is pervasive in our newest Playmate.

Miss June is Audrey Aleen Allen, a.k.a. Audrey Andelise, who appeared in a duo of pictorials released around the same time as her sister, Anna's. Audrey's spunky coed looks conjured up a zestful fanbase who cried out for the young model to become a Playmate, against reason that would say she doesn't quite seem ready. And lo and behold, we have Miss June.

Really, there's one thing that really characterizes Audrey: her extremely short and petite body. She's very tiny (5'2"), and the shortest girl since Amy Leigh Andrews. What makes her very different from Amy, though, is that she photographs short, while Miss Andrews always looked pretty long and voluptuous in the camera lens. What brings out the obvious lack of height is Audrey's very short legs, such that her torso is longer in proportion to her overall size.

Audrey's small size
is very evident

While she is definitely small, Audrey has a killer body. It always looks steely and strong, and its compactness lends to a nice, juicy size that really comes across beautifully. She's not busty, but her B cups appear closer to C's as her bustline is on the broader side of 34 inches. While her body might not be instantly memorable, it's nearly perfect for a small model like her, akin to Angela Little.

Physically, Audrey is extremely photogenic, with a cute, bubbly face sporting a gorgeously accessible smile. Her youth and energy are hard not to capture in every photo, although a lack of mature and truly sexual posing is obvious.  This is definitely a model that could use a few years under her belt to flower into a real Playmate-worthy entry, and it sadly shows throughout. You'll never be "wowed" by Audrey, and so she's one that could ultimately fade.

And then, there's the pictorial. Sasha Eisenmann won't win any new fans with this one, if they were already put off by his portrayal (or mis-portrayal) of Ashley. When a photographer looks a model, they really should focus on how not to portray her, as much as what is appropriate for the subject. Sasha basically misses the point in the same exact way as before: he sets the stage, overcoaching and overanalyzing shots, without allowing for room to breathe, or any bit of varied posing. Audrey is always upright and stiff throughout her photos, with outfits galore that never explore her darker side (and we know every model has one).

• Face: A
  We've seen some really beautiful faces so far this year, certainly above average. Audrey continues that trend with probably the most beautiful smile of the class so far. Shawn Dillon had a winning mug, but never got to exhibit it like Audrey has. While her lovely blue eyes are never given much of a chance, you can't help but love this model's youthful innocence by way of a light, friendly smirk.
• Body: B+
  Again, Audrey's body won't win any awards for its ability to drop jaws and get the drool flowing. She's not a leggy, boob-heavy model that has hourglass curvature. What she does have is a short, powerful body with iron clad abs and a hard, natural shape. Her proportions are perfect, and the cute petiteness really lends itself to her college girl persona.
• Talent: B
  Will the real Audrey Allen please stand up? Or better yet, do something besides just standing. What we see in her performances, whether you blame the production or photographer, is some rather passive posing with a potential for much more. Audrey never exudes a powerful sexual tone in a single one of her photos. Sometimes, you want a "too-cute" Playmate like this to strap on some garter belts, climb onto a bed, and stick her hand between her thighs. I know, most Playmates never get close to that, but Audrey stays far, far from it.
• Pictorial: B
  Sasha Eisenmann isn't going to quell any critics' complaints about his having a complete lack of skill. He's not a single bit crafty here, taking a perfectly beautiful subject and putting her in painfully obvious settings - on the beach, pulling off a bikini, looking unnatural and restrained. Eisenmann's style is evident here, where he treats the subject as an interchangeable object that never gets to freely pose. Photos are over-exposed and painfully sunlit, without highlighting Audrey's powerful midsection or taking advantage of her smaller size with some more compact shots. Give it credit for being fun and colorful, but overall just a poor effort.
• Centerfold: B
  I didn't really appreciate what they were going for with this centerfold shot. Audrey's contortion is a nice departure from the pictorial set, but it doesn't capture anything to augment the model here. I always prefer a full-frontal in a centerfold.
• Overall: B+
  When all's said and done, the lack of foresight and expertise in treating this model with respect is too much for her to overcome. Audrey is ultimately a strange entry at this point, midway through the class. She isn't a particularly skilled Playmate at all, in fact quite the opposite. She doesn't have any bit of exotic appeal, and lines up strangely right after a pure blonde bombshell in Kristen Nicole. Still, she could have been something if we saw her in a more mature light, a peek in the bedroom or what not. It seems that Playboy, with its new strategy in releasing portions of a pictorial in several phases online and in print, could find a way to inject more variety, and to exhibit a couple different sides of each model. Instead, we get this... an incomplete picture of an underdeveloped model. Keep searching, guys.

What a Doll!

Kristen, Miss May

While the 2013 Playmate Class has been bereft of really seminal talent, one cannot deny that it has been lacking some pretty good storylines. By good, I mean we would rather they not exist at all, but since they do, it's good fodder for a blog, per sé.

From the first third of the year, we haven't found anyone truly of note. Currently, the frontrunners seem to be March's Ashley Doris and April's Jaslyn Ome, both with contrasting styles but similarities in their diverse backgrounds. The real backstory, though, has been the photography. Playboy has been experimenting with newcomers for the past few months, and in doing so, has hit some turbulence from fans that they're still trying to navigate.

The magazine honchos graced us with Stephen Wayda's presence for Jaslyn's pictorial set, which harkened back to the good ol' days and gave us the best photos so far. So with Playboy tossing a bone to its fans, how would they continue the charge toward the new generation of photographers, while maintaining satisfaction?

Kristen's bottomless
video is sinfully fun

Enter Miss May, the aptly named Kristen Nicole. A vague, anonymous modeling pseudonym that fits the subject quite nicely, actually. The photographer assigned to Miss Nicole is Josh Ryan - certainly not a newbie, but not on the caliber of the Freytags or Waydas, either. While Kristen is not going to break much ground in terms of Playmate progress and put a real mark on this year, she'll contribute to the overall quality and continue some good momentum after a pair of great models.

While viewing Ryan's pictorial, you can't help but notice its sheer quality, but also wonder how much more depth could be exhibited by this model. Kristen is a fine girl, who's strikingly photogenic. She's a marvel in photographs, looking lean and mean, always with some sharp facial expressions focused around her smoky gaze. She's a pleasure to view, and when you take a look at her magazine pictorial (rather than her paltry Playboy Plus offering), you really notice the variety here. The settings, the costuming, and the production are definitely on par with the previous month.

But let's talk for a minute about the subject here. Kristen isn't a once-in-a-decade talent by any means. At first perusal, she appears to be a born swimsuit model, better off gracing the cover of Sports Illustrated instead. Even her frame and body type is totally suited to the runway, with great 5' 9" size and a very slim torso, sporting a great set of breasts. She's all at once a Barbie doll and a woman who tries to carve out some sort of identity, and does so with some fascinating shots.

Also, you'd be remiss if you don't acknowledge Kristen's innate style and penchant for sexual, potent posing. Need proof? Watch her Playmate video. With that tight red dress, she goes "bottomless," showing off some scandalous poses as she kneels down to the ground. She coyly exposes her quite large labia, looking tantalizing and showing off a side that Playmates of late have not dared to expose.

• Face: A-
  Kristen may be a quintessential "Hefmate" template at first glance, but beneath that is some real substance, and it starts with her gorgeous face. It won't leave a lasting impression, but she is just really great to take in, and has a million dollar smile that looks fantastic in stills. Her eyes belie a very youthful innocence that is really intriguing.
• Body: B+
  Kristen's body can have some harsh lines when photographed head-on, and can look a bit awkward due to her excessive slimness at times. Don't let that detract from her silhouette from the side, where her ample curves are positively marvelous. She is the "Barbie doll" in real-life form, looking long and lean, with sizable boobs (sometimes a little "too" perky) and nary a crease in sight. She's as sleek and flawless as they come, and looks a bit artificial as a result.
• Talent: A
  You only need to take one look at her video to see just how active and physical a poser Kristen is. Let's not get carried away - this isn't a Hall of Fame caliber skill level we're talking about. Nonetheless, she has a penchant for continuous movement, and looks great doing what she does. It also helps that Miss Nicole isn't bashful, letting her figure and sumptuous private parts speak for themselves.
• Pictorial: B+
  While the star performance lies in her video feature, Kristen doesn't truly "wow" through her picture set. We saw a magnificent entry with Jaslyn last month, and this one came up a bit short in its production value. Although the variety of settings and poses was definitely satisfactory, with some nice sunlit pictures in her magazine set, and an impeccable handful of well-posed beachfront shots, she doesn't get into a rhythm, and fails at showcasing her beauty.
• Centerfold: A-
  Kristen is a very sexual girl, but it doesn't come across in this photo one bit. It's wrong, but also oh so right, showing off the finest angle of this model. The side shot is drool worthy, and her look just says it all.
• Overall: A-
  Simply put, Kristen is a strong Playmate entry with an extremely camera-friendly appearance and a solid collection of material. She will probably fit into the chapters of Playboy lore reserved for middling blond Playmates, but she's more complex than that. She carries a more mature presence, and happens to be the most talented woman so far in the 2013 class. Although Ashley Doris put on a good show, it's Kristen that lets it all hang out in a way that is almost dizzying. With a stronger material set, she could have really grabbed the reins here. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Speaking of Playmates... the PMOY reveal is upon us! Playboy has sent this teaser pic with the May issue, and speculation says that it's probably Raquel Pomplun.

Given the landslide support for Shelby, this would be quite the disappointment!

An End to Uproar?

Jaslyn, Miss April

To say that it's been a rocky start to the 2013 Playboy Playmate class is a substantial understatement.
Girl after girl has been under attack for either being too out of place (Karina) or very poorly shot. First was the infamous turn of Shawn Dillon, whom I was vastly disappointed with due to newcomer Tony Kelly and his ugly, unplanned, and unacceptable showing.

Then came last month's beauty, Ashley Doris, who was hammered for her pictorial by fans everywhere. Another relative newbie, Sasha Eisenmann, was heavily panned for this photo set (which I sort of enjoyed, given my A- rating on it). Everything from the setting to the costuming to the washed out lighting scheme was under fire, and Playboy wisely hit back with an improved "xtra" pictorial by Eisenmann.

Would Playboy stick by their new army of photographers, or bend to the fans' wishes to bring back the vets, who've done the job for years? For the answer, just take a look at Miss April's pictorial. Stephen Wayda reprises the central role, putting together a very respectable pictorial for Jaslyn Ome.

Jaslyn's good side

I really looked forward to Jaslyn ever since I saw the announcement on the website. She was a fantastic looking fashion model, with a spunky, slim build and a great overall look. She's a bit on the simplistic side to be a truly powerful Playmate candidate, but she fits in line with the diverse lineup of women that Playboy is trying to conjure up in recent times (with varying success).

To me, Jaslyn's appearance as Playmate of the Month begins and ends with her charm and style, and her ability to show it off. While Jaslyn has a tendency to come off as a bit stiff and lost in a few of her photos, she has a great natural feel that sets her apart. While other girls might have had some trouble breaking through some missteps here and there, Jaslyn is just too damn cute to fail. She builds legions of fans by just flashing her accessible smile or squaring her silky thin shoulders.

Given Jaslyn's classic, solid pictorial performance and keen sense of space in front of the camera, the thing that obviously can be her Achilles' heel is her body. Although it's been proven that a thin, small-breasted body type like Miss Ome's does work in countless cases, it's still an impediment in the end. Large breasts are simply better and more photogenic, and this is a nude magazine after all. At times, Jaslyn can look somewhat awkwardly thin, and almost downright stick-figurish. Although her size and legs are a redeeming quality, and that butt can look positively drool worthy, it's the one thing that truly holds her back.

• Face: A-
  Jaslyn's physical focal point is the source of her charisma and energy, and melds together with a great pictorial. She has a toothy, fresh grin and a messy tuft of hair that looks sexual and intense all the time. Although her skinniness makes her face a little too angular and accentuates the squareness of her jaw a bit excessively, she's hard to forget.
• Body: B
  Jaslyn is too thin, and frankly could use an extra five pounds to balance her out. In some photos, she looks strangely square and angular, due to the balance being thrown off in photos where her butt isn't properly featured... as it should be, since it's by far her best trait. Her cute, round butt cheeks feature favorably for a model whose genitals are rarely seen.
• Talent: A-
  While not as sexually overt in her posing as Ashley, her predecessor, Jaslyn is a solid talent. Her sinewy frame is wonderfully contorted left and right, and her overall persona is really the kicker. Although she hits some strange points where she seems a bit unsure about where to make her next move, and the "fashion model" stiffness is always pervasive throughout, she never fades and delivers a good performance under great instruction.
• Pictorial: A
  After the rage and protest with seeing amateurish photography and editing work by Playboy staff for the last two months, bringing expert Stephen Wayda back could really correct the course, right? Absolutely. With a wonderful pictorial set, and a virtuoso use of an imperfect subject, we have something special here. Lots of juicy, sexual, active posing, piled thick with some nice costuming and color tones. This is refreshing, and simply the best pictorial since Shelby Chesnes, albeit a complete absence of genital shots.
• Centerfold: B+
  Jaslyn's centerfold doesn't really hit hard on all cylinders, or any for that matter. With some really great positions and angles in her pictorial set, this strange sitting shot doesn't capture the length and balance that Jaslyn has the potential to exhibit.
• Overall: A-
  Jaslyn is a model that I see as underscoring the upward trend we're seeing in Playboy since the last month. While both Ashley and Miss Ome haven't been the perfect examples of what we need to see from our Playmates, they're a start. She's a model that's generating tons of buzz, and certainly should be towards the top of many fans' pick lists for PMOY in 2014.
  
  It's important to keep in mind that every time we see Playboy take a step forward like this, they seem to take two steps back almost immediately. With Jaslyn, they showed that we're not quite ready to move forward from our beloved Playboy legends - the Stephen Waydas or Arny Freytags of the world. These are the guys who've given us the great moments, and with Jaslyn they show that the photographer can take a middling Playmate and make her a powerhouse. Let's hope the newbies learn from the best, and fast.

Connecticut Cutie

Ashley, Miss March

We can all agree that 2013 hasn't gotten out to a strong start as far as Playmates are concerned. While the web-based Playboy Plus is exploring new frontiers with edgier photography and taking things to the next level in terms of creativity, the flagship line of Playmates is mysteriously and grossly lagging behind. Karina Marie was as bland and undeserving as they get, and Shawn Dillon was the victim of horrible editing and execution. Where would Hef find the next star to save this franchise?

As luck would have it, the Playboy Plus pipeline is rife with talent. A lot of it is entirely too synthetic (Casey Connelly) or a bit untouched (Jessica Workman) to make the leap to the PM ranks. But then again, a risk is exactly what PB needs right now. What Hef did was exactly that - but the results are a little mixed.

Miss March is Ashley Doris, a model who was more or less nonexistent in the Playboy universe just two months ago. Ashley hit the scene in PB Plus as an "Amateur"in late January, with a very respectable pictorial in a black bodysuit. Her hypnotic beauty aptly titled her feature set, and she had more than the right amount of polish to look like she could jump to the Playmate ranks. Still, it needed Hugh Hefner's seal of approval, and with it, he quickly led what is one of the sharpest rises to PM stardom that anyone has taken in years. From Amateur to Playmate in sixty seconds.

Ashley's
stunning silhouette

Just because Ashley took the short way in doesn't diminish her merits. She's a fine choice for Playmate, and one of the most natural choices in months. I would look back to compare her to Alana Campos of last year, who just had Playmate written all over her in the sense that Ashley does in her appearance. She's smooth and non-robotic, with all the charm in the world and a hint of sexuality that really lets her fit the bill.

Ashley is wildly photogenic and simply a pleasure. Her outstanding, penetratingly deep eyes are a wonder, and her incredible golden skin glistens against a mostly white backdrop chosen for her in this pictorial. She moves through the photos with cautious ease, a glance here, a glance there to assert herself in the Playmate world. She has the talent to do it, obviously. Ashley's body, while never the centerpiece, is very fun. It's smooth and natural, with perfectly proportioned breasts and excellent lines.

The pictorial is again the weak spot here, but obviously not so much as with last month. It suits her style well, being a semi-active model with the ability to contort and produce some great silhouettes. The choice for a white backdrop was awesome, as it complements and brings out her tanned features. Still, it really lacks the punch and sizzle that the rest of the Playboy world is taking on, and that's the game we're playing right now.

• Face: A-
  Ashley's eyes are the focus here, with the bright whites shining in every single photo. The deep look that she gives you is unforgettable, and really sets the stage for the rest of the pictorial. The photographers take great advantage of her face, but it's also a bit inconsistent in her pictures, sometimes strangely angled or awkwardly placed.
• Body: A-
  Ashley's physique is nearly perfect, the only gripe is that it's just not very memorable. Still, her smooth body lines and sleek curvature is a thing to appreciate. Her hazelnut skin is adorable, and she's all-natural, which is entirely apparent in every photo. While she lacks the height and balance to tie it all together, there's do doubting that this is one tight and sexy little package.
• Talent: A
  Miss Doris just nails it in so many ways, it's hard not to give her an A for effort and all of the riches that come with it. She's just an all around good poser, with a great passive look that is absolutely adorable and sensual all at the same time; and she's also able to put on a show with some good physical posing, arching her back and giving it her all. Obviously she doesn't have to try too hard with looks to kill, but she has a strong understanding of her pros and cons, which makes her great.
• Pictorial: A-
  The pictorial is sort of one-dimensional, and never really gets into a great rhythm to show off Ashley's breadth of skill, but it does the job far better than most. The bar has certainly been raised in this decade, with Playboy Plus exhibiting some seriously sexual posing, but Playmates have been left behind with some tame displays. While you have to credit Ashley for her unabashed display of her labia (unlike most), you have to wish for something more at this point. Still, a solid effort with brilliant color balance.
• Centerfold: A
  I like this shot very much, mostly for its completeness. It does a fantastic job of capturing everything that Ashley is great at, from the contrast in her lovely skin tone, to her excellent posing lines. Although it's tame like everything else, you have to expect that. She looks like a glowing goddess here. Easily the best centerfold since Amanda Cerny in 2011.
• Overall: A-
  Ashley is just an all around great model, period. As the first and only Playmate from Connecticut,  she's probably one of the most well-rounded models in some time, with her face, body, and talent all contributing equal parts to her success. While she won't "wow" by any means, and we're still finding that model to be the real frontrunner for the 2013 class, it's still early, and Ashley is that person right now. She might not win any superlative awards by year's end, but she's still cemented herself as a real contender for PMOY. I hope she continues releasing extras in the future, so that we can get a more tangible feel for what she's all about. I feel like we've got something real special here.

2013 Cyber Girl of the Year Race

For those of you who've followed me for years now, you would know that I used to review both Cyber Girls and Playmates quite equally. I always have had my monthly Playmate reviews and ratings, but I would also point out notable Cyber Girls that deserve recognition as they made their way through the ranks. Heck, CGOY is arguably far more important for fans, being that we actually get pictorials and videos in celebration, and the PMOY gets nothing more than a photo with a shiny car.

I've trailed off on my reviews of Cyber Girls since the format has changed from the Cyber Club to Playboy Plus in the online realm. But this is no fault of Playboy's - quite the contrary - although there's been much griping about the clunky interface and scattered content of the new format, there's no doubt that Playboy has stepped up their game when it comes to Cyber Girls.

We have a major dichotomy forming here with Playboy. The Cyber Girls we see each month are more exposed than ever, with intensely intimate shots of their labia, aggressive and active posing styles, and really creative photography that we've never seen in Playboy. Meanwhile, the Playmates, the cream of the Playboy crop, seem to be regressing, with abysmal photo shoots and questionable model choices.

In all of this, we're left with a 2013 Cyber Girl of the Year race that features depth and copious amounts of talent. This is easily a 5 or 6 girl race that we've got on our hands, and results should be expected in just a few days. I'll go through some of my favorite entries (and photos) of the top three I think should be in contention this year.

Rebecca Carter, Cyber Girl of the Month November 2012

There's no doubt in my mind that Rebecca will be a sure contender for CGOY this year. She's a wholesome, fantastic talent that needs no deep analysis, no real contemplation to realize her raw skill in front of the camera. Why can't we have Playmates with this much gusto?

Flirty

Stunning

Untamed

Shocking

 Rebecca just brings it in a series of CG pictorials that will make your mind spin. With dark, large eyes and straight, silk brown hair, they're perfect adornments for a powerful, stout body. Rebecca's incredibly compact (5'2") but voluptuous and cut frame are a marvel of Playboy engineering, with every angle looking tantalizingly sexual and oozing with passion. When she rears her sizable ass, watch closely, because the camera often pans in for a raw, intimate shot of her gorgeously tight labia and even a little glimpse of her butt hole.

It's the kind of edgy photography that's taking Playboy into the 21st century, and Rebecca is a perfect model to lead the way. Her unabashed posing style mixed with delightfully accessible good looks makes for a near perfect woman.

Kate Hughes, Cyber Girl of the Month January 2012

There's some good diversity in this year's Cyber Girl class, the best in a long time. Case in point is one of my other favorites of the group, Kate Hughes. She's a complete 180 from Rebecca, with few commonalities except one - she's another hot commodity with quite a few pictorials under her belt already. Since first appearing two years ago, Kate has become a Playboy Plus juggernaut, taking pride in her leggy build and awesome face.

Natural

Glowing

Dark

Playful

She started out a wholesome girl next door in some Student Bodies features, but quickly evolved into a deeper, more nuanced  model. Now, she's virtually indistinguishable from those days, developing a darker side with a stronger eye for detail. Gone is the bright blonde look, and in comes the eye shadow and an intimate gaze underneath.


The reason I love Kate is that she's just so simple and easy. Easy going, easy on the eyes, just easy to love. She's a slim girl without bombastic physical assets, unlike Rebecca, and she realizes that. Her sinewy frame twists and turns in soft lighting, with her milky skin looking radiant and alluring. Always comfortable, always 100% photogenic and superb. Her youthful appearance belies a really complex model underneath, and fans should get to really know Kate before making a decision on CGOY this year.

Jessica Workman, Cyber Girl of the Month August 2012

And then there's Jessica. This is a model I had my eye on for quite some time. She first debuted in June of 2010 as a model in the Fresh Faces series, looking mighty fine indeed. It was immediately apparent to me that Miss Workman needed to be a star in the Playboy world, and right away. This girl was oozing with potential, and with a little more polish here and there, she could have been a juggernaut.

Sun-kissed

Fast forward two years and many pictorials later, and you have one of the more well-known models in the Playboy Plus ecosystem. Jessica has garnered praise from all angles and has harnessed legions of fans for her CGOY bid, and for good reason. This is a very unique model with the total package - a unique and naturally busty body, an infectious smile, and keen sense for what looks good in pictures. Namely, her, and only her.

Curvaceous

Sizzling

Mind blowing

Pictures of Jessica are wholly unadulterated and untouched. Meaning, they feature little costuming or thematic props. What we see with her is just her awesome nude body in all its titillating glory, and that's all we need. Jessica's physique is a work of art because of what it is not. It's not Kate or Rebecca. It's not in-your-face voluptuous or rail thin, and it's not sporting washboard abs or an ass you can bounce a penny off. Jessica is far more nuanced and interesting than that.

Just peruse her photos, and you'll fall deeply in love with Jess. Her breasts and buttocks are just perfect, standing greatly in proportion and leaving little to be desired. Her angles and corners are awesome to explore because you feel like you don't know this model. With other women, it's as if you've been there and done that, but with Jess you get a sensation for longing and a need to learn. That's what makes her so damned special.

Jessica never has to try too hard -- she just glows. She's got a really natural beauty that shines with that toothy grin or a little move here or there. It's not fair to other women, really. This is the model that is and should be the frontrunner for CGOY, and boy would we be fortunate to have her grace our computer screens a few more times.

A New Low

Shawn, Miss February

 Is it really too much to ask for Playboy to return to its glorious past? I'm not even referring to the 1980's and 1990's, when the magazine churned out spectacular and superior women as Playmates who were truly iconic. I'm not looking for even that kind of standard anymore - we've gone too far down the rabbit hole for that. I'm just talking about some quality women like we saw 3 or 4 years back, in the mid-2000's. Women who are hand-picked for their talent, then placed into a pictorial setting where they can jog our imaginations.

The truth is, a good Playmate candidate doesn't need much work. Put them in an intimate setting with a little costuming, and let them go about their magic. All the greats have that talent, as anyone on my Hall of Fame list would show. It's just natural.

In 2012 and now starting off 2013, there's a disturbing trend. Where is my beloved magazine with its talented and unique women? These are cookie cutter girls that have been crowded with setpieces and gimmicks that constrict their true nature, and cloud the real subject matter here.

To exacerbate the problem and prove my point, take a look at Shawn Dillon, Miss February 2013. This spunky 26-year old is someone that I really banked on, someone who I'd set my hopes on ever since I laid my eyes on some of her awesome lingerie and modeling shots. Shawn is innately a gorgeous girl, with probably one of the most appealing faces we've seen since Laura Croft. She's very youthful and genuine, and although she seems to have always lacked the posing talent, she's still wonderfully great to watch.

Until Playboy got ahold of her, that is. So my utter dismay, Playboy took one of the most promising Playmates in months, a potential star in the early running for PMOY, and destroyed her. They took a perfectly fine model and stuck her in one of the worst pictorials I've ever seen a Playmate in.

Where do I start with this thing? It's just a disaster. Shawn has so much color and life, and they sucked everything out of her in this putrid display. Instead, she looks pale, her hair frazzled and unbecoming. She looks constantly strained and out of place in the maritime setting, struggling to find a single ounce of spice or flash. She's shot in awkward sitting positions, which never captures the great shapeliness of Miss Dillon's body, ignoring the fact that she has a wonderfully plump ass.

Can you find the vaguely naked
woman in this photo?

That's just the start. What about the plethora of uncropped and unfinished photos of Shawn fishing from afar, without a single hint of nudity or even a close look at the model at all? There's a row of 23 shots in this pictorial that are virtually IDENTICAL! It's almost as if the editors over at Playboy are just playing a game with us here, thinking that their readers and fans are just a group of fools. The introduction of rookie photographer Tony Kelly might have something to do with it, but no Playboy point man should be this out of touch.

Through all the horrifying shortcomings of the pictorial, you never are able to get a feel for how great Shawn is, and that's the travesty here. If this was a passive, boring woman like Lisa Seiffert of last year, it would be mildly passable. But this was a model with loads of potential, with supple skin and a great energy about her that could have been something very special. What a shame.

• Face: A-
  The photographers almost try every dopey move to try to obscure or downplay Shawn's beautiful face in this pictorial, but I still won't knock the fact that she is one lovely model, and this is her greatest strength. Take a clean look at her pearly smile and those inevitable eyes, and you won't doubt this woman for a minute.
• Body: A-
  Finally, we get a Playmate with the physical tools: a centerpiece of a face, a balanced and slim body, and we get stuck with a subpar performance. There's still no denying that Shawn does possess those tools, most notably her absolutely lovely butt. There's not much definition or curvature to her backside, but her buttocks protrude in a nice bubble, which is never captured to the extent that it needs to be. This should be an obvious focal point in her photo set.
• Talent: B
  Shawn deserves another shot to prove herself, because there should be more to her than this. When you go back and look at her previous modeling work, though, it's easy to see that she's a bit thin on moves. She never gets into any rhythm with her PM pictorial, jet skiing and fishing and doing anything but actually posing for the camera.
• Pictorial: C-
  I think I've said enough about this photo set entry of Shawn's, and how unfortunate it's been. I can safely say that it is one of the worst pictorials I've seen in years, possibly the worst in decades. This kind of output is totally unacceptable, and I hope newcomer Tony Kelly and the rest of the crew step things up, and fast.
• Centerfold: C
  The centerfold falls into the same vein as the rest of the photo set, with Shawn standing in a beach setting with an obscured body and absolutely no attention to detail. 
• Overall: B
  The miserable pictorial set of Miss Dillon drags her down from a possible A-caliber Playmate to a mid-grade model. This is just not fair to Shawn or her fans, and hopefully her Playmate exclusives performance does her some justice and brings her back in time for the Playmate ranking. For Shawn, I might make an exception in my year-end ranking and boost her rating if I see a better pictorial, because she just didn't perform on a level playing field. She's a model with loads of potential who just got a raw deal.

PBC Hall of Fame - Carol Imhof (1970)

One of my very favorite classic Playmates is the incredibly angelic Carol Imhof, Miss December 1970. Still one of the iconic Miss Decembers in Playboy's history, Carol holds a special place in my heart, as well as the heart of countless other Playmate fans.

Carol
Miss December 1970

Carol was not my pick for PMOY in 1971, but that's only because she was matched up by the beautiful Jen Liano, also a PBC Hall member. However, in any other year in the decade, Carol would have taken things by storm.

Carol really carried the torch and set the standard for women in the '70's, and was a perfect cap to the 1960's era of ladies. Unlike Miss Liano, Carol is more of an archetype of the era, more voluptuous and curvy while still maintaining the short and stout frame that was the norm. These weren't the overly polished women of today, but they still resembled Hollywood glamour like they just don't do nowadays.

Indeed, everything about Carol straddles the line between high-end starlet and everyday girl down the street. Her face, to this day, is the stuff of legends. Her eyes alone should be in my hall of fame, always filling a photo with a bright beacon and becoming the central focus of any shot. Carol's angelic look was transcendent, and makes you sit back and think. Since today we overvalue the shock value of some taut, fake breasts and closely exposed genitalia, we miss out on true starpower like we see with Miss Imhof. This is a relic of a bygone era, to be celebrated.

• Face: A+
  Carol's face is still one of the greatest in Playboy history, along with greats such as Cynthia Myers and Jennifer Liano. Her spectacularly deep eyes and subtle innocence make her one of the most endearing and beloved Playmates in history.
• Body: A-
  Having the curvaceous and buxom frame of Playmates in the late 1960's, Carol's follows the trend, with large, tangible breasts that are shot gorgeously throughout her pictorial. Almost perfectly shaped and never too large, they complement an otherwise nicely tapered physique.
• Talent: A
  A glance here, a flashing of the lashes there, a flutter of the hair or a serene and inviting look. Carol's style is classic and timeless, with understated beauty and passive posing executed wonderfully.
• Pictorial: A+
  As I said above, Carol's passive posing style plays to her strengths perfectly here. She never does too much to break the relaxed atmosphere of her photo set, and never gets in the way of her own innate beauty. She doesn't have to try too hard to look spectacular.
• Centerfold: B+
• Overall: A+
  Reminiscing about beauties of the early days of Playboy is a pleasure, and looking back at women like Carol are the reasons why. While what we find attractive has truly changed, with models' bodies and posing styles evolving constantly, one thing is certain: beauty sells. In that vein, Carol produced, and brought home some seriously sexy shots while just being herself. It's a mentality that many a model nowadays can learn from - keeping it simple can speak volumes.

One Bland Blonde

Karina, Miss January

We had a pretty good 2012 class. Top to bottom, there was some good depth of talent, apparently some of the best we had in years. But as I've said before, there was never a defining knockout Playmate, who truly reshaped and redefined the direction of Playboy as a brand.

We haven't had a woman like that in forever. It feels like the last truly impactful models were Katie Vernola and Hall of Famer Amy Leigh Andrews back in 2010. Since then, we've had a collection of retreads, and even the greats (Toth, Horton, Chesnes) never could break through to that iconic status. So, we hope for lucky number 2013 to bring us that really special girl that tickles our fancy and drops our jaws.

Unfortunately, we'll need to wait another month. Miss January is Karina Marie, who kicks things off in a very underwhelming fashion. It's actually quite astounding how vanilla this Playmate is. It's not even easy to call Karina a "safe" choice, as she's way beyond that. This is a downright boring, uninteresting, and untalented Playmate who's taking up a spot where others may be far more deserving.

Karina's sneering, unattractive, and squinty gaze is never the attention grabber that we expect in Playmates nowadays. She sits in most of her photos, passive and expressionless, with little to offer in terms of true visual stimulation. The most we get out of her in the way of 'posing' is a slight flutter of the hair, a little forced grin, and a little budge of the nondescript features of her body to show that she's actually active.

When it comes to physical qualities, Karina suffers just as much. Her body is as bland and pointless as her posing, lacking any true contour or character at all. Her pale skin and overly slim build just doesn't look good in the camera's scrutinizing gaze, and her genitals are completely missing from view.

• Face: C+
  I guarantee that I won't be able to recall Karina's face a few months into 2013, without a doubt. Her angular face and lack of any character comes with nary a single smile. There's nothing but a dismal and unrecognizable sneer all over.
• Body: B-
  Easily one of the worst Playmate bodies we've seen in a few years, Karina leaves a ton to be desired. Her tall frame is far underweight, leading to a rippling and slim body with absolutely no curvature to offer any semblance of a silhouette. She has not a single defining feature, and then some, and her underexposed pictorial set doesn't help at all.
• Talent: B-
  Karina is a lifeless and tiresome girl without a single glimmer of talent throughout her photo set. She barely moves an inch, and each position does nothing to make up for her ultimately uninspiring body.
• Pictorial: C+
  There's just nothing here. It's ok to an extent that Karina is a dismally boring model, but to make matters worse, there's nothing sexually charged about these photos at all. It's just a model who happens to be naked, who lacks all balance whatsoever.
• Centerfold: B-
  A thoughtless, lame centerfold is just too fitting for Karina.
• Overall: C+
  You can tell that I just didn't enjoy Karina, as I felt she had no business being a Playmate. Sadly, it's a position that's seen better days, and the best classes of Playmates are far behind us. With women like Karina, it only feels like those great days are that much farther away, and that they'll never return again. She is an entirely uninspired choice by the editors, with no talent or physical strengths at all. The most you can say about her is that she's all-natural, but then again, so are most women. A forgettable Playmate to start off what will hopefully be an unforgettable year.

Then again, even the best classes didn't always start off with the best Miss Januaries. How about Shawn Dillon, the petite hottie that's tabbed for Miss February? Hopefully things are pointing up!